Love's Sacrifice
by MirrorFlower and DarkWind
Summary: I knew Jim's pain better then anyone else. I loved him and always will. I knew their love better then anyone elses, James T. Kirk and Spock belonged together more then anyone else, i would protect them even if i had to sacrifce my life. Please Review!


T'Slash: Hi everyone! I hope you all had a good day!! I know I did, looking at more Spirk pictures and reading what T'hy'la means always makes me smile.

I dedicate this story to all my fellow Trekkies and or Trekkers, whatever you go by. Also to my wonderful reviews, they make me want to keep writing.

So if you want me to write review or I will let my 23 other ideas fall to the side.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, if I did Spock and Kirk would never have left their quarters and only the walls would be able to tell the story.

Please enjoy this story and remember to review!

**Love's Sacrifice**

It has been three years since Captain Kirk's five year mission ended and Captain Kirk was promoted to Admiral…while I was left in the shadows and forced to take orders from a new Captain. A Captain that could never measure up to the brilliance that of Captain Kirk. My only true Captain. Captain, I refuse to call him Admiral, Kirk wanted to continue exploring, if not for the resignation of that Vulcan, his First Officer and Science Officer, Mr. Spock. My Captain did not want to replace Mr. Spock with anyone else, to him Mr. Spock was his First Officer and no one else could hold that position, so his only choice was to accept his promotion. The one he never wanted…and that Vulcan just left him. Captain Kirk was broken; it was as if part of him was missing. I tried to be there for him, after serving him for five years, both of us protecting each other to the best of our abilities, I encased him in love but it was never enough. I missed hearing his heartbeat when hooked up to the machines in sickbay, always knowing when he had pushed himself over the edge but unwilling to rest should he fail his crew.

So Captain Kirk left me. His last goodbye was far from happy. It seemed as if …as if nothing mattered anymore…as if he had lost part of his heart and soul. He could not stand the sight of the halls and rooms that held such happy memories of precious times gone by. No matter what I did it was never enough for him. I hate the Vulcan, Spock, for doing this to my love. Yes, I admit it; I love Captain James Tiberius Kirk, I always have and I always will. It was because I love him that I was able to share him with that Vulcan. All I ever wanted was for Captain Kirk to be happy and if that happiness lay with that Vulcan, so be it. I knew I would always have a place in his heart no matter who he loved. He did love me but I was not his number one, his most important person, his kindred spirit, his soul mate, his _T'hy'la_. No, that title belonged to Spock, and only Spock. I could see the love between them as could everyone else in the universe. Not even a blind man could miss it. The way Captain Kirk's eyes lingered on Mr. Spock's figure, their subtle flirting, their touches and smiles. They had faced death together, it is no wonder they were so close. So in love….

But then one day something changed and Spock left for Vulcan to join the Kohlinar, to purge himself of emotion. Leaving Captain Kirk behind and alone once more. I need not tell you how Captain Kirk felt about this…his withdrawal should be able to speak for itself. Despite all this, being tossed aside and abandoned to follow orders from a new Captain, I continue to support Captain Kirk in everything he does, his hopes and dreams are mine as well and I wish on every star I see that his greatest wish be granted. That Spock would return to his rightful place, at Captain Kirk's side, where he belongs.

Captain Kirk has finally returned and taken back command, I knew that he would not be able to stay away for long. I am overjoyed to be serving him once more. He is the only man I can trust my life to completely, knowing that he would never want harm to come to me, nor I to him. I made a promise once and I tend to fulfill it to the best of my abilities no matter what the situation.

But even after having returned to command Captain Kirk still seems unsatisfied. He made little mistakes in trying to save the Earth again from destruction. It was obvious to us all that he was missing his Vulcan First Officer and though he was happy to see me and the rest of the old crew from the five year mission, it was not enough to fill in the hole that remained left behind when Spock turned his back on the Captain and left without so much as a word.

I will not lie; we were all worried about Captain Kirk. In trying so hard to reclaim what he had lost he is making mistakes. Mistakes that his Vulcan First Officer would have fixed had he been here but no he had to leave Ji-Captain Kirk alone, drowning in sorrow. It is like that time when Captain Kirk was separated into two parts the Good Kirk and the Evil Kirk, Captain Kirk needs both of them in order to function. It is the same with Spock; Captain Kirk needs Spock in order to function normally. The other Captain, the one that was supposed to be in charge called Captain Kirk out on his mistakes, making Captain Kirk feel like a failure, His command abilities at this time are nonexistent and then the turbo lift opened and a figure appeared on the bridge….

It was that Vulcan, oh how I wanted to shove him out of an airlock and into space so he could know the suffering he had caused Captain Kirk to go though…. But I would never be able to do that, it would hurt Captain Kirk and no matter how much Mr. Spock hurt the Captain I could never hurt what makes him happy…. Even if it meant dealing with Mr. _Logical_ Spock, who was now completely in control of his emotions. I saw the way Ji-Captain Kirk's eyes brighten up once he saw Spock, it was as if his heart and soul had been returned to him at long last. None of the usual warmth I and the rest of the crew were so use to showing itself to the Captain…. It was as if Captain Kirk was nobody special, just another face in the crowd.

As we headed to what we soon learned was V'Ger, Spock risked his life to mind meld with the machine, not knowing what it would do to him. Ji-Captain Kirk went after him and brought him _**home**_ and into sickbay where Doctor _Bones_ McCoy was waiting for them. Jim-Captain Kirk's face was filled with worry for his only true love. Even when Dr. McCoy took Jim-Captain Kirk away from Spock side he kept a close eye on Spock, waiting for his love to wake up. No matter how badly Spock has hurt him Jim-Captain Kirk's face was filled with worry for Spock and when Spock did wake up his face was overcome by relief. We could all see the change in Mr. _Logical_; it was like the true Spock had been returned to us. He told Jim all the knowledge he gained from V'Ger and how "he should have known." He started to fade but desperation flashed in Jim-Captain Kirk's eyes, he could not allow Spock to fall back asleep yet, not after having almost lost him. Spock then turned to Jim, taking Jim's hand into his own, in a Vulcan kiss, and saying those three words that made Jim's eyes sparkle with the light that had for so long been missing. "This simple feeling," is what Spock had said, just those simple words brought more joy to Jim's face then I ever could. Whatever had caused Spock to leave Jim in the first place seemed to vanish and the barriers that held them apart tumbled down. They were finally together again, they were _**T'hy'la**_ in every sense of the word. I was overjoyed that Jim's wish finally came true and even though I realized that I would never have Jim's full love now, just knowing he was happy was more then enough for me.

The unbeatable team reunited once again was able to save the Earth thanks to the new Captains sacrifice. He was a good man and though I did not want to serve him I will miss him, he helped Jim when Spock was not around and for that I will forever be grateful for that.

Even after that Jim did not return as Captain but went to teach and Mr. Spock was promoted to Captain. I served under him for fourteen years, helping him train cadets that would one day become officers aboard a starship. Even though I was separated from the one I love most I was not as sad as I could have been. For even though I could not serve Captain Kirk I was able to serve his love, who was always getting regular messages from Captain Kirk, keeping me posted as well. Besides if I cannot have Captain Kirk I could settle for his First Officer Spock, and his love.

Then it came time for the regular checkup. Dr. Bones McCoy, Mr. Sulu, Ms. Uhura and my Captain Kirk came aboard to make sure everything met regulations. With Mr. Spock as Captain everything met regulations but then we were assigned a mission, the Genesis Project was being taken from the scientists, Captain Kirk was ordered to find out what was happening. He went to Spock and told him of his orders and Spock gave Captain Kirk his command back. They also proved their love once again. Spock told Captain Kirk, "You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I haven been and always shall be yours." This made Captain Kirk overjoyed and if it were not for the gravity of the situation then he would have kissed Spock but as it was they had a mission to do. We traveled as fast as we could to the U.S.S. Reliant, the ship that had ordered the scientists to give them Genesis, the ship that Mr. Chekov was First Officer on.

First we had to stop at the Science Station and what we found horrified us. Spock was left in charge as Dr. McCoy, Captain Kirk and Lt. Saavik beamed aboard the science station. They party soon informed us that all the scientists on the ship were dead but they had found Mr. Chekov and his new Captain but that was not all. The transporter room had been used so they beamed to the last known location. It would figure an old enemy of Captain Kirk was behind this all. His name was Khan and he had placed a parasite inside of Mr. Chekov and his Captain causing him to control their actions. Mr. Chekov's captain killed himself before he could kill Captain Kirk like he had been ordered to. Mr. Spock had to close communication with Captain Kirk down for Khan had been listening in. It was my fault for not realizing we have been hacked, I had placed my Captain in danger yet again.

It was thanks to the quick thinking and effective team work of Mr. Spock and J-Captain Kirk that they made a rendezvous time. Lt. Saavik was surprised at being beamed aboard so early but Dr. McCoy, Mr. Chekov and Captain Kirk knew that Spock would never let them down and they brought two other people up with them, Dr. Carol Marks and her and J-Captain Kirk's son David. David did not hold any love to his father, though of him as a cheater. He did not know the Captain like we of his crew did. Like I did…. Like Spock did.

Ji-Captain Kirk created a link with Khan and was able to hack them, as they were superior to us. We headed into a nearby nebula in order to make the playing field even. Khan, being who he was, had revenge against Ji-Captain Kirk buried so deep into his soul that he could not help but follow us into the Nebula even though one of his crewmates told him it would be a mistake. Khan followed us in and a fierce battle endured, both sides having casualties but as always Captain Kirk was able to win…but not without a tremendous cost.

Khan, as a last ditch effort activated the Genesis Project and, what David called, the Genesis wave was headed towards us and the warp core was shot to hell. We could not achieve warp and the wave was closing in. Mr. Scott tried his hardest but nothing they could do would work. Mr. Spock, when Captain Kirk was occupied, left the bridge and headed down to the engine room. He was able to dispose of both Mr. Scott and Dr. McCoy, who had tried to stop him but were unsuccessful, and enter the warp core chamber. Once the two recovered from the Vulcan Nerve Pinch they tried to get Spock to leave the room, both knew how devastated Captain Kirk would be if he lost Spock again. But that damn pointy-eared hobgoblin ignored them and he was able to get the warp power back online and save us…but the radiation was too much for even him to handle. Captain Kirk contacted engineering telling Mr. Scott that he had done a great job….Only it was not Mr. Scott who got back to him but Dr. McCoy telling him that he needed to get down there. Captain Kirk looked over to Spock seat and that is when the realization that Spock must have done something set in. The fear that overtook Jim-Captain Kirk's face will forever haunt me as he raced to engineering, praying all the while that it wasn't what he thought.

Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott had to hold Jim back from opening the doors and contaminating the whole department. Jim was desperate to save Spock but it was Mr. Scott telling him that it was too late that made the Jim aware of the gravity of the situation. Jim was able to free himself and went to the glass that separated him from his one true love.

"Spock," Jim had said, his voice broken with grief as he realized he would lose his soul mate for the second time. Spock slowly rose to his feet, having to use the wall to lift himself off the floor, and straightened his shit. Always wanting to make himself perfect for his T'hy'la. Spock blindly walked over to Jim, running into the glass, causing pain to register in Jim's eyes as he watched his once proud, strong love reduced to this.

"The ship…out of danger?" Spock croaked, the radiation already affecting his voice. Jim looked up at his love, tears forming in his eyes.

"Yes," Jim had said, Spock nodding his head, happy that he had saved the ship at the very least yet the pain of leaving his T'hy'la was on his face.

"Don't grieve. Admiral. It is logical," Spock said, shaking his head as he felt though their bond Jim's overwhelming grief. Jim had his hands pressed up against the glass, straining to touch his love, knowing that he could not. Spock faltered slightly and you could see the force that it was taking for him to stay standing upright, one of his hands on the opposite side of Jim's, touching though the glass.

"The needs of the many outweigh…" Spock said, the radiation the pain causing him to lose his voice, his body trembling now.

"The needs of the few," Jim said, trying to keep his voice strong, so that his crew would not see his weakness…even though his eyes gave away his inner pain.

"Or the one," Spock finished, nodding his head, happy that Jim understood why he had sacrificed himself. Spock strength finally started to give out but he got a hold of himself and straightened out once more. Jim's pain filled eyes following him. "I never took the Kobayashi Maru test…until now. What do you think of my solution?" Jim could not continue to look at Spock, his emotions rising up within himself, the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Jim moved his gaze away from Spock, trying to regain his composure.

"Spock," Jim said, his voice breaking, locking eyes with Spock once more, the pain and tears shining brightly in his eyes. Spock's eyes reflected the pain Jim was feeling and then his legs gave way, the pain becoming too much for even him to bear and he fell to his knees….Jim lowering himself with Spock, never wanting to break their connection. Spock gloved hand staying on the glass right by Jim's face, as if caressing Jim's face though the glass.

"I have been…And always shall be…your friend," Spock had said once he regained his composure. The word friend meaning love between them. Spock knowing that the crew was watching their goodbye and did not want to make it harder for Jim then it already was. What they said through their bond only they would know. Jim's eyes never left Spock, as he let the pain and love he felt show freely…knowing these where Spock last moments alive.

"Live long and prosper," Spock said, doing the Vulcan hand gesture, his brown eyes reflecting the love he felt for Jim. Jim raised his hand and traced it over Spock's fingers, the pain shadowing his face, making him seem older then he was. Spock turned his body around and rested his back against the glass, slipping away from this world and Jim. Jim eyes filling with pain as he felt Spock leave.

"No…" Jim whispered, gazing down at the body of his only love before he turned and rested his back against the glass with Spock…his eyes reflecting the death he just witnessed…a part of his soul and heart dying as well.

The funeral took place soon afterwards. Everyone was there, Jim and Dr. McCoy standing in the middle, Uhura and Saavik to Dr. McCoy's left, Chekov and Sulu to Jim's right. Mr. Scott standing behind Chekov ready to play on his bagpipes. Slowly the coffin lowered itself and Sulu went to collect the flag as Jim spoke of his love.

"We are assembled here today…to pay final respects to our honored dead. This death takes place in the shadow of new life. The sunrise of a new world. A world that our beloved comrade gave his life to protect and nourish. He did not feel this sacrifice vein or empty. Of my friend I can only say this…..Of all the souls I have encountered, in my travels, his was the most….human," Jim had said, tears threatening to fall from his eyes the entire ceremony. After Jim's words Mr. Scott started playing Amazing Grace as Spock coffin was launched towards the rising sun of Genesis.

Later on the bridge Jim though back to what Spock had been trying to tell him on his birthday…about how he was getting old and Dr. McCoy asked him about it and Jim said that he feels young. He also said how he hopes to one day return to Genesis after all with life there is always hope and Jim held on to the hope that someday…somehow Spock would be returned to him. Wither in this life or the next, he held on to that hope because it was the only think left he had besides the pain. I made a promise that day once again and I would protect Jim and return him to that planet if it was within my power.

We slowly began our trip back to the Star Base. David and Lt. Saavik staying behind to research Genesis and its progress. On the way there someone broke into Spock quarters, Jim had closed and locked them, unwilling to admit that Spock was gone and not wanting to be reminded of that loss. According to the security guards the doors had been forced open and Jim went to investigate. When he got in there he heard Spock voice and it opened the still raw wound. He grabbed the person, hope rising in his heart and eyes only to be crushed when it was reveled to be only Dr. McCoy. He ordered Dr. McCoy to get help and left to the bridge, the wound bleeding again.

When we reached the Star Base Jim briefed them on what had happened and we were ordered not to tell anyone else about Genesis that it was classified and when he asked about returning he was refused, no one but he science officer were to return to that planet while peace negotiations were going on. Then we were dealt the worse news we could receive. Mr. Scott was ordered to work on the Excelsior and he asked to remain here to work but they said we were being decommissioned. Jim reacted badly to that and after being told again they were removed and we were separated. Jim and the main crew got together I heard to mourn Spock and celebrate being alive when it was interrupted by a surprise guest.

It was Spock's father, Sarek. He came to Jim demanding to know why he had abandoned Spock from what I have heard and then Mind Melded with Jim…ripping open the wound yet again but it made Jim review the footage of Spock's death and learn that Spock Katra was in McCoy's mind and that Spock really was with them. The only thing to do now was to go and get Spock's body.

I watched from afar as he pleaded with an Admiral for use of a ship to go back to Genesis. When asked to explain Jim said, "But if there is even a chance that Spock has an eternal soul, then it's my responsibility" his eyes bright with determination. It was then I resolved to help Jim out, no matter what the cost.

"Yours?" the Admiral questioned, disbelief in his voice. How I wanted to throttle him at that point, could he not see the love between Jim and Spock? It was clear as day to their crew. Jim nodded his head, his eyes smiling slightly.

"As surely as if it were my very own," Jim had said, serious. His eyes alight with the hope that now coursed though his veins.

Even with all the proof set out before him the Admiral still refused to allow Jim to return for Spock. Making me hate him even more but I knew that that would not stop Jim. He would do anything in his power to reach Spock, even if he had to do it by unconditional means. So he and the crew devised a plan and Mr. Scott was able to sabotage the Excelsior and we were able to escape Space Dock. One of the Captains told Jim that he would never sit in the Captains chair again he if went though with his plan but the consequences of not acting were worse then that. For then Spock would be lost to him forever. So we escaped and traveled as fast as we could to reach Genesis.

When we reached the planet the science vessel that was there had been destroyed by Klingons. We were not prepared and were hit hard. Jim tried to make it seem like we were not as vulnerable as we were. The Klingons wanted the secret to Genesis; they believed it was the greatest weapon. Jim tried to hold back when they told him they had three captives as a bargaining chip. At the word three captives, Jim's expression turned cloudy and he was allowed to talk to them the first was David who admitted that Genesis was a failure, and then it was Lt. Saavik who told him that Spock was with them. Jim's face brightened further at the words that Spock was alive and well. The Klingons told Jim that unless he gave them the secret to Genesis they would kill the captives. Jim worked on a plan to save Saavik, David and Spock but the Kligons got impatient and killed David, Jim's son.

Jim was broke about the fact that he lost his only son….Yet at the same time he was happy that Spock was still alive and well. Then Jim gave in and made an arrangement for some of the Klingons to beam aboard. It was a trap planed out by Jim. He ordered the bridge crew to head to the transporter room and then Mr. Scott, Mr. Chekov and Jim used their codes into the computer. The codes were for the self destruct sequence and told the Klingons to get ready to board. Jim and the rest of the crew beamed off.

It was at that instant that Jim left me. I had made a promise to him long ago and it was time to live up to it. I had promised to protect him even if it cost me my life, I had promised that during our five year mission to go where _No Man Has Gone Before_. As the Klingons boarded me I was counting down, ready to sacrifice myself for my love, my Captain, my Jim so that he could save his love, his T'hy'la, his Spock. And then I blew them and myself up, happy that I could be of service to Jim one last time.

I watched the planet. I watched as Jim asked Dr. McCoy what had he done and Dr. McCoy reassuring him that "Did what you've always did. Turned death into a fighting chance." I feel horrible for causing Jim this pain; I never meant to hurt him. I was happy to see that he still cared for me but I did not want him to grieve for my death. I was sad that there was nothing else I could do for him. I wish I could have helped more at the recovery of Spock but this was the end for me. Before I completely burned up I saw Jim with Spock in his arms, happiness filling his face. I could feel Jim's relief that Spock was alive and well, Jim had buried his head in Spock shoulders, letting the relief wash over him before he ordered, in Klingon, to be beamed aboard the Klingon Bird of Prey. It was at that instance that I knew that my sacrifice was not in vain. Everything was finally right in the world and my Captain was happy again. That was more then I could have ever wished for. It was then that my world turned black but I did not fear…Jim was with Spock again….that was all I ever wished for him. I love him and his happiness made everything I suffered worth it. For who knows, we may be reunited again. Afterall nothing is impossible for James Tiberious Kirk.

The End

T'Slash: Well I hope you all liked this story! Did anyone guess whose POV this was in? Or did you all have to wait till the end? I am sad to see the Enterprise blow up in the end but I thought it fit, who knew Kirk and Spock relationship better then the Enterprise.

Please remember to review and tell me what you thought. I would love to know and reviews make me smile. So please press the button!! Reviews feed my soul!!

Live long and Prosper.


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